Friday, August 21, 2009

Feeling October

The feel of the world has been playing tricks on me as of late. I find myself looking out the window and having the full feeling of October hit me, only to step out the door and realize that no, it is indeed August and it is 98 degrees outside. I'm sure it has something to do with the smoke in the air or even the fact that it's been an odd summer to begin with. I also may want to blame the fact that school starts earlier and earlier each year. I feel so bad watching those kids go back to school the second week of August. Horrible I say.

I have to be very careful this year not to rush along time. I keep taking calming breaths and reminding myself that I need to have the time in each day. I can't wish myself into October because there are too many important events between now and then. We have several weeks of rehearsals left before Desert Dance, and then some time before October and the Redwood Coast Belly dance Festival, and then comes Carnival of Stars the week after that. I don't want to get too excited wishing away the dregs of summer so that I wind up feeling completely unprepared. It's a habit I have. A bad one. Especially when it come to October.

I love October with every ounce of my being. October is not just a month for me but a complete state of mind. October winds come in and cleans away all the dust from the summer. I start to be able to breath a little bit better again. I watch the leaves on the Mulberry tree from my bedroom window. They sway in the wind with the fall sun glinting through them and they remind me of the sea. Before you know it there are more on the ground than on the tree. I've had bad things happen in October, but they've never seemed to be able to pull me down in the same way the bad things of other months do. October is my magic place and time between the worlds. October lets me forget it all and revel in the freedom that only a child can feel. A child running from house to house trick or treating in her wonder woman costume. Feeling invincible from head to toe and laughing when the rain starts to fall.

But this year I won't rush October, it'll make it all the more sweet when it comes.

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